Wanting to be chosen and wanting the person feel identical while it's uncertain, because uncertainty is what generates the intensity. The way to separate them is to imagine the uncertainty gone. If he were completely, boringly available tomorrow — would you still want him?
It doesn't make you shallow. Chase chemistry is a real thing your brain does and it is very convincing.
Do you enjoy his company, or do you enjoy the relief when he replies? One is him. The other is just the absence of anxiety.
“(no text. sit with the question for a week before deciding anything.)”
“(imagine him being fully available. did the feeling survive?)”
“i want to actually get to know you rather than guess at you. tell me something real.”
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Was It Casual is for reflection, not therapy or professional advice.